I hate this kind of post, especially for a blog. I love and hate attention seeking. Yes, it’s nice to be recognized, but with recognition comes the risk of being put down.

This last week I realized this holds me back from completing stories. If I want an excuse, one will appear since writing is fraught with challenges that make it easy to say, “This isn’t worth it.”

Maybe it isn’t. Any time a writer shows a story to the world, we show our innermost thoughts. They come out in our characters, the environment of our fiction, and exposes our worst fears. 

We spill our guts to the world, and that’s when the world tells us whether or not we are good human beings.

People’s judgment isn’t what irks me though. It’s the credence I place in it that truly irritates me. Why do I care so much what others think of me? Especially considering what I have to do in my daily job. I can tell nosey neighbors to go fly a kite and not care that they’ll slander me the first chance they get. Why is writing so different?

Then I remember something my grandmother told me, and it is the reason I hate watching The Waltons to this day. She was an avid fan of the show back in its first run and continued watching the reruns for a decade afterwards. When I told her I wanted to become an author, she basically told me I shouldn’t waste my time because it took John Boy until his 30s to sell a book.

Yes, it took until my 30s before I finished my first book and published it on KDP, but what it took for me to achieve that both in secretly developing my craft and overcoming mental barriers made it impossible to do it any sooner.

Grammy, thank you so much for the negativity and the family dynamic you introduced! That, above all, will endure as my greatest obstacle.

So, my goal for this next month is to finish draft two of In the Hills: Part 1. I’m not sure if I’ll keep the working subtitle as it contains a word some might find offensive. That’s not the best choice for a first impression. I may save that subtitle for a later part.

After that, I’ll run through it again with ProWritingAid for line edits. The real test comes at publication. Can I stick to it and spill my guts to the world? 

I’m shooting to release episodes for Part 1/Season 1 on Vella in May and June.

Over the next couple of months, I have to research prerelease strategies too. I probably should have started that a while ago, but give me a break! I’m the only one suffering from my incompetence here. So spare the negativity!

I love writing, and I’m doing my best to overcome my inferiority complex with that love. This is the first battle. Wish me luck!